Stephen Colbert Skewers Trump’s Covid Response

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Detour to Guantánamo

A forthcoming book by two Washington Post journalists is said to provide new information about the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.

“The main detail: There wasn’t one,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday night.

According to the book, early in the pandemic former President Donald J. Trump suggested sending Covid-infected American cruise ship passengers to the Guantánamo Bay naval base in Cuba to avoid adding to U.S. case numbers.

“The president wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo, so enjoy your beach day with a complimentary head sack, then hit the bar for bottomless piña colada boarding.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And you know he said he wants to send them to ‘Geronimo Bay’ or something like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Of course the reality star wanted to send them to an island. He probably sent a camera crew, too, and called it ‘Survirus’ or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“The Olympics are almost here, and today organizers announced that venues will be at 50 percent capacity. That’s right, 50 percent, which means only four people will be allowed to watch fencing instead of the normal eight.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Tokyo residents will be allowed to go to the Games but will not be allowed to cheer and they have to go straight home after. Whoever came up with these rules should win the gold medal for buzzkill.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Can you imagine going to a live sporting event with no cheering allowed? It’s like a Detroit Lions game.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Also they said fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Although they say that at the beginning of every graduation, and parents are still like, ‘Thomas, yeah! Tommy, you did it. That’s my boy, Tommy!’” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Paul Rudd crashed Bill Hader’s “Conan” interview on Monday night.

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

Wanda Sykes, star of the new Netflix sitcom “The Upshaws,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”

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