Stephen Colbert Parodies Brian Kemp’s Version of the National Anthem

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The National Anthem, Remixed

Gov. Brian Kemp of Georgia mangled “The Star-Spangled Banner” during a Fox News interview this week in what Jimmy Kimmel called “a statement about freedom that was so eloquent, I immediately started embroidering it on a pillow.”

Kemp, who was on the network to discuss vaccine passports, told the Fox News host Lawrence Jones, “It is America, the land of the home and freedom reigns.”

“Land of the home and freedom reigns! It’s as American as pie-ball and the mom and bars,” Stephen Colbert joked.

“I got to say, props to Fox host Lawrence Jones, who just rolled with it. That poise is going to come in handy as a rudderless G.O.P. descends into patriotic word salad. [Imitating a Republican] ‘Lawrence, this country was built by Abraham Freedom, no matter what Joe Bantifa’s laser babies say about cancel-culturing our eagle guns reigns.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And patriots like Governor Kemp will not be constrained by the traditional, actual lyrics to ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’ So as a tribute to him, I think, please put your hand over the organ of your choice, and join me in this Kemp-inspired rendition of our national home and freedom reign: ‘Oh, see can you say, by the Donner Partay, what so twilight we proud, at the gleaming PlayStation. Whose bra straps and big cars, drew the Perry Farrell o’er the streaming we watched, were so galloping ponies. And the Rockettes met Bears, Robert Durst is an heir, gave Froot Loops the right that our Fraggles still cared. Oh, see can you stop big Bruce Banner, Flavor Flav o’er the land of the home, and the freedom reigns. Ball Play!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

‘Resting Thrown-Out Face’

Mike Lindell, the founder and C.E.O. of My Pillow, was refused entry to a meeting of the Republican Governors Association in Nashville this week. Seth Meyers said Lindell had surely been thrown out of venues before: “He’s got resting thrown-out face.”

“It felt like a mafia movie and Westbrook was being sent a message by one of Orville Redenbacher’s goons.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“But that’s Philadelphia. I mean, that’s what — they finally get to go to games again, immediately they’re dumping snacks on opposing players’ heads.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Bits Worth Watching

The actress Emily Blunt, a “Late Late Show” guest, played a round of “Can They Sing?” on Thursday night.

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